I Know You By Heart
by CarpeNoctem17
Summary: Remus looks at a worn picture of Sirius and remembers.


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song. The characters belong to JK and the song to Eva Cassidy.

Author's Notes: Please comment and tell me what you think. I love comments.

Remus Lupin unsuccessfully tried to fight back the fresh set of tears that were forming in his eyes, threatening and promising to fall if he continued to look at _that_ picture. But he couldn't stop. He couldn't bring himself to tear his watering eyes from the enchanted, moving picture he held in his hands. Worn hands held the picture that was worn out, stained with tears, some recent and some not so recent.  
  
_Midnights in Winter  
The glowing fire  
Lights up your face in orange and gold.  
I see your sweet smile  
Shine through the darkness  
Its line is etched in my memory.   
_  
The picture was taken when the man was very young. So young, in fact, the lines of age and worry hadn't yet sunk into his face, as Remus' own had. The man was smiling warmly and laughing merrily, his navy blue eyes twinkling wickedly. Even though the picture didn't have sound, Remus could hear his laugh ringing through his mind, clear as the last time he heard it. It was nearly impossible to describe the sound of Sirius' laughter; but if you heard him laugh you would never be able to forget it and could identify it in a heartbeat. If he had to describe his laugh in one word, Remus would say it was beautiful. And horribly contagious. If Sirius started to laugh, you better surrender to the fit of giggles that was right around the corner.  
  
_So I'd know you by heart._

Frankly, Remus thought, the only word that would ever aptly describe Sirius, or even come close, was beautiful. Every aspect about the man was completely and utterly beautiful. Of course you had the physical side of him, from his strikingly blue eyes, his firm and obviously well taken care of frame, to his gentle but firm hands. Remus always loved his hands, loved to be held in his arms with Sirius' hands locked around him. He had never felt safer or more at home than in Sirius' arms.  
  
_Mornings in April  
Sharing our secrets  
We'd walk until the morning was gone.  
We were like children  
Laughing for hours  
The joy you gave me lives on and on._

Then you had the other, non-physical, aspects of him. He had a wicked sense of humor, sometimes slightly dirty, satirical, or sarcastic, but surprisingly always done in a way that offended few and made all genuinely laugh. Next was his tender nature. He was a humungous sap, which was hardly a secret. It was well known that a few heartfelt words were all it took to get the man to tear up. He was incredibly protective of those he loved; he would sacrifice his happiness for the sake of someone else's.  
  
_'Cause I know you by heart._  
  
If Sirius loved you, you could feel wholly safe in the knowledge that as long as he was around, no harm could ever come to you. In fact, harm wouldn't even have a chance. If he felt that he or anyone he loved was in danger, a side of him would come out that no person would want to ever see, and least of all be on the receiving side of his anger. But thankfully, this side was very scarcely shown. Despite, or perhaps because of this, you couldn't help but feel totally out of harm's way when you were in his presence. He protected the one's he dearly loved with everything he had.  
  
_I still hear your voice  
On warm Summer nights  
Whispering like the wind._

It seemed only right that he died protecting the person who quite possibly meant the most to him, sans Remus. Harry was truly the light of his life, a link to James that could never be broken and a son he never had. No one could ever doubt his attachment to Harry. If you were ever in a room with both of them together, you would have seen a sparkle in his eyes that showed absolute love and devotion. Despite having spent so little time together, he honestly loved him.  
  
_You left in Autumn  
The leaves were turning  
I walked down roads of orange and gold.  
I saw your sweet smile  
I heard your laughter  
You're still here beside me every day._

If you were in a room with Sirius and Remus you would have seen a love so pure, so unadulterated, that time itself would lie down for. His love for Remus was different than his love for his godson, but it was just as intense and real. If there was one thing Sirius was, it was loving. And if you were lucky enough to be loved by him, and I mean completely and totally loved by him like Remus and Harry were, you would never doubt his love. Not even in his absence. You could still feel his eyes on you, his arms around you, his voice in your mind, and his spirit would linger with you. Sirius was perhaps the most intense person you would ever meet in your life, but those that knew him wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  
  
_'Cause I know you by heart,_

Remus, sniffling, wiped the fresh wetness from his cheeks onto the front of his hand. He knew that Sirius wouldn't want him to be weeping like this; in fact he would downright forbid it. Remus laughed slightly to himself, knowing exactly what his lover would say. "Remus, you stop that crying. We'll see each other again, you know that. But for now, take care of Harry for me and live your life. We'll see each other again."  
  
_'Cause I know you by heart._


End file.
